Da Leeg Report Season 18

Chat about anything Blood Bowl related

Da Leeg Report Season 18

Postby DaImp » Thu Feb 06, 2020 11:11 am

issue 1

Welcome to the Spectator, your number one source for Blood Bowl news. In this issue we feature the opening week of Da Leeg.

Khorne's Lava Boilers vs UnderHeim Sturm Gratz: TD 1-1 / Cas 8-3
Underheim Sturn Gratz, 20000 fans. Staff reporter.

The 1st match of the season for these two teams saw them playing in the underground stone tunnels of the "Underheim Sturn Gratz". "Khornes lava boilers" almost felt at home here, not just from a conditions perspective, but also due to their large support from their fans (they had much hype before the league started, drawing more support).

A mysterious skaven ninja-like figure was seen hanging around the Boilers locker room before the match started but walked out seemingly disappointed. Rumour has it that clan Eshin has it in for this underworld team, seemingly upset about skaven mixing with goblins and a troll. However this match was being specially televised at the stadium, aiding the "Grats" to promote themselves.

The match started with a kickoff to the "Gratz". They secured the ball as the fists and claws were swinging. over time, casualties and blood was spilling with two dead hobgoblins and three injured "Gratz" players. A skaven thrower finally made a break for it but was caught by a sprinting bull centaur who managed to collect the ball. This desperate defence was not good enough though, as skaven managed to swarm him and put him down. A skaven blitzer by the name of "Finnr" retrieved the ball back and scored!
The boilers were receiving now and managed to casualty more Gratz players. It was starting to become uneven and a gap was opened for the bull centaur to drive the ball deep up-field. However something went wrong with his footing and he tripped up, essentially ending the boilers chance to equalize in the 1st half.

The second half started with the boilers receiving the ball. Further casualties were caused, one hobgoblin was injured and another five Gratz players were put out. The boilers scored with reasonable ease to tie the match however it took a little longer than anticipated. With only around three turns remaining, the Gratz received the ball. The high kick sent the receiver deep into his own half (on the touchline) but he not only failed to catch, but to pick up as well! Thunderous hooves could be heard heading to the hapless skaven receiver. He was pushed out into the crowd while the other bull centaur needed only to pick up and score in the dying seconds... NO!! the centaur fumbles it and the game ends in a 1-1 draw!
The boiler fans seemed to be unmoved one way or another about this result, however the Gratz support grew exponentially with the help of the live broadcast!

Bloodfire Torments vs Lustrian Lunatics: TD 1-1 / Cas 0-2
The Chasm of Torments, 11000 fans. Staff reporter.

Just 2000 Lunatics fans made the trip to the Chasm of Torments to watch their team take on the Torments. It would seem they knew something we didn't as a dull game of few highlights followed. (note added to end of report) And so ends my report - there is no truth what so ever that I failed to attend the game in the Chaos Wastes for sanity reasons (that we believe - Ed) and any suggestion otherwise will receive a letter from my lawyers.

Blue Balls of Destiny vs Got Wood: TD 2-0 / Cas 1-1
Abstinence Bowl, 12000 fans. Staff reporter.

Things started out promising for the Got Wood Za in their opening match of Da Leeg season 18 against the Blue Balls of Destiny. A rigorous training regime ensured that the Elves mitigated the effects of the Blue Balls's sub-par facilities. The Blue Balls on the other hand had the idea to visit a fortune teller before the match - the future did not look good!

The first half started with the Blue Balls blitzing from kick-off and immediately securing the ball. The Elves managed to get the ball back, but in not-so-typical fashion, lost it a turn later while attempting an easy pass and the ball landing in a Chaos Warriors hands - Seriously starting to doubt the fortune tellers ability here - From there the Blue Balls caged up and moved slowly down the pitch while punching through wave upon wave of beautifully groomed elves - 2 KO's and one badly hurt Elf later the Bulls opened the scoring. In this time the Elves did manage to fracture the leg of a beastman.

The second half got only more difficult for the Elves as a heavy snow storm moved in, preventing them from blitzing effectively. With the Blue Balls receiving, they instantly caged up and replicated their first half, slowly moving down the pitch until scoring close the end of the half and winning the match 2-0.

Got Wood vs Bloodfire Torments: TD 2-2 / Cas 1-1
Sheerwood Park, 15000 fans. Staff reporter.

The Bloodfire Torments were mired in controversy before the game as up and coming beastman Helltongue was interviewed by Spike! Magazine following his TD scored against the Lustrian Lunatics. The grinning beastman declared that he was “the only good thing in the Torments” and that the fans should “worship him like the god he is”. This didn’t go down well with a particularly devout group of fans calling themselves the Vestals of Nuffle, claiming that “there is only one true god and his name is Nuffle! May his glory strike down the blasphemer! Or not as is his will.”
The group of fans have vowed to boycott all Torments games until Helltongue repents.

Reports are coming in from Underheim that the teams goblins have gone on strike saying the stone pitch of the “undercity sewers” is not goblin friendly and will boycott further games.... but after lengthy discussions ... that they will not play their next game on a stone pitch and most away games will be on standard pitches, the goblins have returned to practice.

Stuttburg Bisons vs Blue Balls of Destiny: TD 1-1 / Cas 1-2
Stuttburg Park, 16000 fans. Staff reporter.

The Bisons hosted the Balls in a match that can be described as violent but not lethal. The Bisons received the ball in the first half and started moving up the left flank of the Balls, only to be met with fierce goat and muscled resistance. a 3-turn Melee ensued with the Bisons losing the ball, but then regathering and making a break for the end zone. With only a quick pass required to score the opening touch down, the Bison's thrower fumbled the ball and gave a couple of goats a chance to scramble back in defense and prevent the Bisons from scoring in the first half!

The Balls started the second half by securing the ball and moving up the field. The Bisons met them head-on and regretted it immediately, Bisons players were being put to the ground all over the field - Unfortunately for the Balls, only a single Bison player were seriously injured, Charles Gibbs were handed a broken neck and then the Bison Apothacary (Or was he a chiroprator?) smashed Charles's hip! The Balls, with clear air in front of the ball carrier, made a break into no-mans land and scored the first touch down of the match.

Even though the Bisons had been taking a beating like a rented mule, they were not deterred and they hit back in spectacular fashion by scoring a fantastic touch down in 2 turns, shocking the Balls, and equalizing the game!

The crowd got involved as well today, with 4 players being treated to crowd spankings!

Also, the Bison's coach had stern words the their Ogre, Vrog, who had several brain-fart moments during the match. The big guy broke down in tears, and the only way to console him, and prevent a team genocide, was to award MVP to him! Yay!
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Re: Da Leeg Report Season 18

Postby DaImp » Thu Feb 13, 2020 11:20 am

issue 2

Your weekly dose of news and rumours from the sidelines of Da Leeg

The Bloodfire Torments' impressive second half comeback to defeat the Blue Balls of Destiny was overshadowed by the ongoing player revolt that threatens to tear the team apart. Following Helltongue's comments last week, it was fellow Beastman, Silentfoot who lashed out at the team management and fans this week. An article in Spike! magazine quoted Silentfoot as saying "MORE SPIKES!!! Thaz all we needz to make team GREAT. But NO! Coach say practiz better than spikez. He make uz run run RUN! We don wanna run, juzt stick spikez in facez. And fanz juzt as bad. Not even one Demon in stadium. So BAAAAAAAAAAAD may just as well be elfz for all tha damage they doez."


Black Hearted Club vs Got Wood: TD 3-0 / Cas 2-1
The Cauldron, 16000 fans. Staff reporter.

Having missed the session opener because of scheduling issues the Black Hearted Club (BHC) played their first game yesterday. Hosting Got Wood only 5 000 dark elves fans, outnumbered by more than 2 to one by their nature loving cousins, attended the opening match at the BHC home stadium. The weather was perfect and strangely no pre-game shenanigans occurred for both teams, everything was set for a great blood bowl match!

Kick off went to the Wood elves who managed to start the drive just before the defense was ready, immediately created a hole in the BHC defense to push the ball far up field. The Wood elf momentum was halted short of the end zone by the interference of the BHC witch elves tackling the ball carrier. While the wardancers and witches were tussling for the ball an opportunistic Woodie stepped on a dark elf's neck down on the line of scrummage (the ref was focused on action up field). The elf never got back up and had to be carried of the pitch at the end of the drive. The witches enraged by seeing a fallen comrade started shoving elves into the crowd. Unfortunately, with 4 wood elves put into the crowd (which were extremely gentle, or possibly just knots of wood elves supporters) over a few turns, it only resulted in a KO'd catcher and a wardancer with a damaged back. At least this put one of the dancers out for this game and the next, and probably confined him to a short career this season! Having a number advantage over the lesser elves (and getting some blood on their hands) the witch elves scooped up the ball and headed for the opposite end zone. On overeager line man tried to repay the favor by stepping on a downed wood elf but the ref was awake this time and sent the dark elf to the bin. Bloody Mary, BHC witch elf, managed to score just before half time, putting the score BHC 1 Got wood 0.

After a rough first half, both teams could only get together 8 players for the second half kickoff. Got wood coach used every bit of is brilliant coaching techniques but could not stop the frenzied up witch elves from once again pushing the lone wardancer into the crowd, passing the ball between them and given Bloody Mary a very early score in the second half! 2-0 to BHC. The knocked out Wood elf catcher stepped onto the field for the next drive but looked unfocused and slightly concussed. The coach insisted he got onto the field as it was the only way for the wood elf's to match the BHC 8 players that had setup for kickoff. The wood elf fans were visibly agitated at this point and during the BHC kickoff, threw down the dark elf star lineman Joker with a rock. The wood elves again received the ball quickly managed to put down the dark elf line of scrimmage, causing another badly hurt lineman, and preceded to clear space for the catcher to receive the pass close to the half line. At the moment before the wood elf lineman released the ball to the catcher he seemed to sense the catcher’s grogginess and tried to hold back the release of the ball. This caused the ball to be sharply spiked into the ground. Wood elf players and fans alike were completely stunned by the uncharacteristic fumble of a wood elf pass. In this moment the dark elves pounce, securing the ball safely on the Line of scrimmage. Feeling extremely confident at this stage, the BHC showed their stuff (and cruelty) by performing perfect hand-offs and even a pass by blitzer Black Adam, just to show the woodies how it’s done. By the end of the drive Witch Elf Bleez had scored her first touchdown of the session.

Wood elves fans being thoroughly unimpressed (and still outnumbering the dark elf fans) started a riot which resulted in the game clock being set back. The wood elves proceeded with their set play, clearing space to get the ball to the catcher. This time the lineman didn’t hesitate to throw the ball for the vanity pass, but with the catcher still concussed by his tussle with the fans in the first half he promptly dropped the ball. Thus the half time whistle was blown with an end score of BHC 3 - Got Wood 0.

In memory of Mongul. Promising career cut short by a wood elf boot.

Bloodfire Torments vs Blue Balls of Destiny: TD 2-1 / Cas 3-1
The Chasm of Torments, 15000 fans. Staff reporter.

In the Chaos derby last night the Blue Balls of Destiny went down to the Bloodfire Torments 2-1. The first half saw the Torments, to the dismay of their coach and fans, making rudimentary mistakes giving the Balls an easy opening touch down.

The second half however was a different story. It all started with a single casualty inflicted by the Torments, that whiff of blood caused a string a violent take downs of Balls players that could not be stopped. The sudden violence, and a string of dirty tactics by the Torments (mitigating the physical dominance of the Balls), had the Torments equalise midway through the second half.

With the Balls in possession of the ball near the end of the match, they had one final decision - Go for the draw or go for glory. The glory play, unfortunately, was more suitable to Elf players and it failed miserably, allowing the Torments to grab the ball and win 2-1!

Purple Nurple vs Stuttburg Bisons: TD 2-10/ Cas 2-3
Nurple Park, 10000 fans. Staff reporter.

The Purple Nurple hosted the Stuttburg Bison’s in a sensational match up of brawn vs skill at the Purple Nurple home stadium last night. With the weather holding out and no upsets from either stadium or fans, it was a perfect night for some Blood Bowl.

The Bison’s might have won the match 2 – 0 but the Purple death machine most certainly won the fight. Causing 7 casualties during the match which included 4 KO’s and killing Vrog, the number 12 Ogre for the Bison’s. Due to the tireless and half decent skills of the team apothecary Vrog was resuscitated and will survive once he heals from the broken neck. The match also saw some foul play with the Bison’s number 2 player kicking a ghoul in the teeth as he lay on the ground, the match official immediately picked up on the incident and the player was removed, badly wounding the ghoul. The purple death machine saw 2 casualties caused by the mummy Slash who then was also named the MVP and really leaving his mark.

At the end of the match the Bison’s stood victorious but only in the figurative sense as they were mostly lying down bleeding. It was a great spectacle to behold and it seems like the blood thirsty fans got their monies worth. This has now been two rough weeks for the rookie humans team, but if it was not bloody, it would not be Blood Bowl.

Khornes Lava Boilers vs Lustrian Lunatics: TD 0-2 / Cas 0-2
Khorne Canyon, 16000 fans. Staff reporter.

"Lustrian Lunatics" traveled to "Khornes Lava Boilers" stadium "Khorne Canyon" (mountainous / megatron). The 1st half was a real battle, fought on a knife's edge, where the boilers were eventually foiled when the ball handler was put down, scattering the ball into the crowd, where it was thrown in deep into their own half essentially dashing their scoring chance. This left them despondent (and fearful of Khorne's wrath). By the end, four Lustrians were off the pitch to three Boilers however when the second half started the lizards were back to 11 versus 9 for the boilers.

This advantage was too great for the boilers to handle as the lizards just hit too hard and were just too quick. They scored 2 touchdowns unanswered, killed a hobgoblin and broke the neck of another (essentially ending his career), a great result for the lizards but a dismal one for the boilers.

Got Wood vs Purple Nurple: TD 5-0 / Cas 1-1
Wood Park, 22000 fans. Staff reporter.

Facing shame for losing to their dark cousins the Woods headed back home against a very dangerous looking Purple Nurple team.

A dark figure offered the Woods a 50k bribe plus what ever their winnings would be, for what would be called a massive crowd turnout for both teams. The Gate seeing 220k gold taken in for just admission never mind the gallons of fine mead consumed.

The coach would later on state the team misunderstood the dark figure and his bribe as they won the game 5-0!

Barrow Crows vs In Da Bushes: TD 2-1 / Cas 0-0
Black Mountain Bowl, 14000 fans. Staff reporter.

Several thousand wood elf fans made the perilous trek to the Barrow Crow's picturesque, if slightly chilly, home stadium nestled high atop a craggy peak in the Black Mountains. However, no sooner had the ref caught the coin for the kick off (with the Wood Elves winning the toss and choosing to receive) than a mighty gale began to blow, howling away over into the frostbitten pitch. With the wind this strong, no passing game was possible, and the Crow's kick off simply vanished over the side of the mountain resulting in a "touch back" to the elves. The War Dancers realised they would have to play the running game. They quickly made short work of the Undead's shoddy defences and opened the score early in the half to the rousing cheers of the crowd, though barely audible in such a gale.

The Undead however, were not in such a hurry and, despite a riot breaking out amongst some of the fans granting the players extra time, the front line of the Barrow Crows shambled slowly down the pitch and Gherib the Ghoul scored the equaliser in the dying minutes of the first half. The Elves had just enough time to again storm through the Crow's defences but Someone the Wardancer was unceremoniously shoved into the crowd before he could add another touchdown to his team's score.

The second half was much like the first, with the macabre players of the home team stumbling and shambling slowly up the pitch with the wind howling and the Wood Elves prancing and dodging around them, setting up screens of elves to defend the touchdown line. But the rigours of the day had taken their toll. All that remained of the "bush's" defence was a thin green line of elves, arms locked and shoulders pressed together, standing bravely between the ball carrier, Jafer the Wight, and defeat. Unfortunately for the elves, the brutal strength of the horrific mummies, Gibdo and Seti , broke through the line and Jafer was able to cross the line, securing the first victory for the Undead.

The wind finally died down just in time for the post match presentation, but by this point most of the fans had deserted the stadium in disgust that they had been so little blood spilled. The Elven apothecary woke up from his long nap having played little part in the game.

In Da Bushes vs Black Hearted Club: TD 1-2 / Cas 1-6
Sheerwood Park, 17000 fans. Staff reporter.

BHC got their campaign off to a powerful start with dominant 2-1 win over In Da Bushes. With 6 casualties caused to 1 the Dark Elves mauled their Wood Elf opponents and set themselves up as a team to fear for the rest of the league.

Purple Nurple vs Black Hearted Club: TD 0-2 / Cas 5-1
Nurple Park, 9000 fans. Staff reporter.

Another powerful performance from BHC as they continue their winning start to Da Leeg. But their reputation for violence took a solid blow from Purple Nurple, as the Undead team ripped into the Dark Elves and casualties 5 of them. It does seem that fans at BHC games are guaranteed to see blood flow at least, even if it is from their own team.

The Bloodfire Torments' may be having some internal strife but they remain unbeaten in the New World Conference and move to the top of the table with 12 points from 1 win and 2 draws. They are closely followed by Got Wood on 11 points and Blue Balls of Destiny on 10 points.

The Aulde Worlde Conference is yet to really get going, with only 2 teams having played any games. But at this early stage it is Khorne's Lava Boilers who top the table with 4 points from a draw and a defeat. Is this going to be a lean year for the AWC or will the conference fire into action next week?

Vampire player Lestat de Lioncourt is the most valuable player in Da Leeg History. Playing for the Hel Fenn Coven, Lestat was valued at 260k gold pieces at the end of Season 16. This strength 5, agility 5 Vampire terrorized the league with Block, Mighty Blow and Frenzy to boot. His career stats are 6 Touch Downs scored, 3 Completions thrown and 19 Casualties caused (1 kill)
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Re: Da Leeg Report Season 18

Postby DaImp » Thu Feb 20, 2020 1:40 pm

issue 3

Your weekly dose of news and rumours from the sidelines of Da Leeg

Underheim Sturm Gratz Goblin fans have launched a petition a to see a more inclusive Dirty Rats team. Sturm Gratz Goblin fan spokesperson...um, spokesgoblin addressed The Spectator: "We didn’t see one single goblin in their team ... we believes that’s against the quota system and den they have an Rat Ogre too.... surely against the team composition rulz as well." League officials are looking into the complaint.

The Bloodfire Torments' player problems continued into a third week, with Beatman Silentfoot being banned by head coach Da Imp for "Inciting liberal thinking and a bond of brotherhood among the team." According to Da Imp "This disgusting display of niceness must be stamped out immediately before it spreads throughout the team and ruins our reputation!". Sadly for the Torments it seems like the rot may already have spread, with the team putting on singular display of niceness in both their games this week, by refusing to hurt any of the opposition players. The team has been taken away on a retreat to a "Murder and Pillage Weekend" to try and make them meaner.

The Dirty Rats started their league campaign with what has been described as a "Festival of foul play". The coach, of the dirty Rats, when asked about the foul play, replied that it was a victim-less crime. Rats player Ratty Tight-lips was asked if he saw what happened on the pitch. "I see a lot of things" was his response. Clearly a player with his vision firmly set on the future.

UnderWorld Nutrition (UWN) sign up Linerat Gasto of the Sturm Gratz after his maiden TD and MVP vs the Dirty Rats. He was seen launching goblin youth in the the air at the Gyms Diving pool (+1 str) after his workout.


Bloodfire Torments vs Got Wood: TD 2-1 / Cas 0-0
The Chasm of Torments, 19000 fans. Staff reporter.

The Bloodfire Torments welcomed Got Wood to the Chasm of Torments, determined to show the Wood Elf team that their draw in the opening week was an anomaly and in the words of team captain Skar the Corruptor "To bring the PAIN!". The crowd were certainly into the spirit of the game, launching several hard objects at both the Elven and Chaos players - it is possible that the handing out of stone replica balls before the game could have influenced this behavior. Before a ball was even kicked a Wood Elf was out of the game with a broken collar bane thanks to a well aimed stone ball from the crowd. Surely a good omen of continued violence for the rest of the game to follow. But sadly for fans of blood, that was to be the last casualty of the game, the Torments finding themselves unable to break a strangely resilient Got Wood team.

The action with the ball was more impressive at least with the Wood Elves taking the early lead but the Torments would strike back just before half time to level things up at 1-1. The Chaos team were now in the driving seat, receiving the ball for the second half and making sure they protected it as they slowly progressed down field. The expected casualties that would go with a cage drive like this did not materialize for the Torments though. Whispers in the crowd began to get louder of the team being cursed, or just born nice! A disturbing thought indeed. Horrific as these rumours may be, the Torments were still performing well with the ball and managed to score the winning TD in the last move of the game, as a desperate TD saving blitz from Got Wood failed with the Wardancer tripping over his feet.

A 2-1 win for the Torments, but how long will fans stick by them if they fail to spill blood?

Black Hearted Club vs Stuttburg Bisons: TD 1-2 / Cas 0-0
The Cauldron, 20000 fans. Staff reporter.

BHC's winning run was brought to an end by the Bisons, who are announcing themselves as serious challengers for the NWC title. Two wins and a draw in their opening 3 games has seen them rocket up the conference table. Coach Pshyc could be in for an outstanding rookie season if the team can keep this up.

In Da Bushes vs Got Wood: TD 1-3 / Cas 3-1
Sheerwood Park, 20000 fans. Staff reporter.

The sounds of “Arrows and Roses” latest hit track “welcome to the jungle” could be heard far and wide as the group performed in front of a large 22 thousand blood bowl crowd waiting to see their wood elven legend teams In Da Bushes and Got Wood Za take to the pitch .

Coach of In Da Bushes managed to recruit a wondering wizard to support his team. Not wanting to let his favorite team Got Wood be so heavily disadvantaged a rogue wizard sneakily sides with the team just before kick off. With 2 wizards in attendance, the fans were not going to be disappointed.

Wardancers keep the ball out of each teams hands before a late half Touch Down by In Da Bushes.
Not wanting to be out done Got Wood managed to score a equalizer on the last turn before half time.

The Got Wood coach could be heard having a very heated conversation with Woody the tree man. His early game take root and spending it playing with the birds was not acceptable.

Second half, the wandering wizard dropped a fireball over 3 Got Wood players with the Wardancer deciding that the lush grass and the gentle fire warming him decided to take a snooze on the pitch. Due to several injuries, Got Wood managed to take advantage of the extra player count was able to put 2 more touch downs before the end of the game.

Stuttburg Bisons vs Bloodfire Torments: TD 2-2 / Cas 1-0
Stuttburg Park, 23000 fans. Staff reporter.

Rookie sensations the Stuttburg Bisons welcomed the conference leading Torments to Stuttburg Park for a showdown at the top of the New World Conference. Conditions in the coastal stadium were abysmal with a gale blowing in off the Sea of Claws that would make kicking and passing the ball impossible. The gale would last the entire game meaning that the ball would have to be carried the whole time.

The Torments seemed to relish the conditions and started laying out their opponents in a brutal display of blocking, but could do no more than simply stun the Bisons. The Humans in turn received the ball from the kick and progressed up the right wing, breaking through the Torments defence. The Bisons escaped the defending beastmen, but chose to try and stall out the game for a bit before scoring. This was fine by the Torments as they continued to flatten all players in front of them, but frustratingly still could not injure anyone. With growing chants of "They're too nice nice, hush hush, nicey nice." from the Bisons fans, the Torments gave up trying to hurt the Humans and pressured the ball carrier to score. 1-0 Bisons.

The Torments came back strong in the rest of the half, driving up-field in a solid cage that left the Bisons with few opportunities to dislodge the ball, eventually scoring right before the half-time whistle to level things up at 1-1. Coach Da Imp was clearly frustrated on the sidelines though as his team still couldn't (or refused to?) injure the opposition!

The second half went much the same way as the first. The Torments received the kick and drove their way up-field to score midway through the half, under pressure from the Bisons to stop the stall. Casualties were still no-existent until finally a player was injured! But it was the Bisons, against the run of play, who casualtied the Torments Minotaur Torro Goresplatter. This proved to be the only casualty of the game as once more the Torments failed to injure a single player! The Bisons in the meantime had received the ball and worked their way down the right wing once again. With the Torments' defence seemingly unable to stop them the Humans ran in to tie the game up 2-2 in the final turn. A hard fough draw from both teams but it was the Torments who left the field under a cloud of shame as their own fans hoisted a big banner claiming them as "The Nicest Team in Blood Bowl". Just how will the Torments respond to these harsh words next week?!

Khorne's Lava Boilers vs Da Orcstars: TD 0-1 / Cas 0-3
Khorne Canyon, 20000 fans. Staff reporter.

Another 0-1 defeat for Khornes Lava Boilers but the fans don't seem to mind... in fact, they were too busy getting high and frothy from the dwarven drug dealers and took out their paranoid delusional hatred on an orc blitzer and an orc lineman, killing both of them! The orcs however did what they do well and bashed a dwarf hard enough to miss the next match. Also killed a hapless journeyman. The Boilers failed their only real opportunity with a failed hand off which essentially gave the orcs a chance to swarm the ball and eventually get it to score late I to the second half. These 50/50 plays are just not working out for the boilers.

UnderHeim Sturm Gratz vs Under-Middenhiem Dirty Rats: TD 1-1 / Cas 3-2
Under City Stink Pit, 13000 fans. Staff reporter.

The Sturm Gratz and their fans traveled to the dilapidated Under-Middenheim Stink Pit to play in the inaugural Under-City Derby. The local skaven fans choose to stay home and watch the match on cable vision.

The Dirty Rats received the first kick off, with Don “The Big Cheese” Ratowski securing the ball, passing to Gutter Runner Antonio Rattacus, who went deep in to his own half, to be swarmed by 2 underworld goblins, he evades them to hand off back to “The Big Cheese” the ball is fumbled the big cheese flicks the ball back to Rattacus. The Dirty Rats form a cage around him and drive down the right flank.
Rat Ogre - “Big Rat” Paulie swats aside the Sturm Gratz Goblins and Skaven opening a huge whole in the Gratz Defence. Rattacus scampers home for the opening touch down.

The Dirty rats kick the ball high, the wind catches it, and it bounces out of bounds. The Grazt rush the ball up the center, Gunnar hands the ball off to Finnr, as he starts to make a break up the right flank… Finnr drops the handoff.. 1st half ends 1 nil to the home team.

Both teams line up for the kickoff, the ball is kick high. As dog runs on to the field, the Dirty Rats re-organise their defense, the dog picks up the ball and places it at the feet of Hallbjorn, who scoops it up and hands it off to LinerRat Gasto. Snorri the Troll and Blizter Finnr clear the way knocking out 4 Dirty Rats. Gasto runs up the right flank with a screen of Goblins, equalizing with four turns to go.

The Gratz kick the ball out of bounds. “The Big Cheese” takes the ball and Dirty Rats from a cage down the left. “Big Rat” Paulie crashes down the centre, knocking down any Grazt players who tried to slow him down. The Grazt goblins throw themselves against the wall of Dirty Rats, bringing it to a grinding halt. Folki the other Gratz blizter runs around the cage to sack “The Big Cheese”, the ball pops loose, only to fall in the hands of another Dirty Rat. Its a mess, the cage is stalled and fists are flying … finally the ball pops loose, Finnr breaks free with the ball, Joey "the knife” darts across the field and ankle taps Finnr who crashes into the dirt dropping the ball. The whistle blows, and the UnderCity Derby ends in a 1 all Draw.

Barrow Crows vs Blue Balls of Destiny: TD 0-0 / Cas 0-2
Black Mountain Bowl, 19000 fans. Staff reporter.

The Blue Balls of Destiny made the arduous trek to the Barrow Crows' home stadium in the Black Mountains. It all started out so well for the Shambling Undead, with their rigorous training camp showing improved team morale (and their frankly awful guest dugouts reducing the morale of their opponents). In the first half, the Balls' kick off hit a low flying goblin and the Crow's received a touchback. Star Player, Bryce the Slice's chainsaw tore into Chaos Warrior Aurelian (though the ref saw the foul and sent Bryce to the dungeons). The Crows' ghoul and leading scorer, Gherib, attempted to break away practically on his own up the left field, scurrying along the sideline, but his ghoul teammate, Morlock failed to provide him with support, tripping at a crucial moment, and leaving Gherib to be shoved unceremoniously into the crowd.

In the second half, the Undead shenanigans continued: no sooner had the ball landed from the kick off than it suddenly (magically?) turned into two balls! Then the sprinkler system came on drenching them both and making them wet and slippery! No strangers to handling slippery balls, the Blue Balls of Destiny managed to pick up both of their wet balls and promptly ran down the pitch with them (not a sentence you get to write very often - Ed.). Despite a noble effort to keep their balls safe, the Blue Balls were down on players and the Crows managed to force them to drop one ball and then the other. But with little time remaining in the game, the Crows were unable to capitalise on their efforts and to properly get a grip on either of the sodden balls. The game ended 0-0, with the teams both tired and despondent. As for the mystery of the two wet balls, perhaps it will never be solved. Asked for comment after the game, the Crow's zombie groundskeeper merely said "muuuhhm".

Black Hearted Club vs Purple Nurple: TD 3-0 / Cas 2-6
The Cauldron, 15000 fans. Staff reporter.

It was a beautiful day at the Black Harted Club (BHC) grounds, the perfect day for blood bowl.

15000 Fans came to see the match, which by now the fans knew that the undead loved making new friends (in the dead kind of way). The fans seem to really cheer for the Purple Nurple (PN) team and the side lines became very dangerous for the BHC (Friendly fans and Rowdy Fans inducements)

The BHC won the coin toss and decided to receive the ball. Being used to receiving first, the PN started punching as soon as they heard the whistle for match start (Blitz Kick off result).
In the ensuing melee BoneBiter knocked down Relic. BHC finally starts their run with Bleez deftly dodging pass many PN players, his passage not even noticed. PN continued beating at BHC to the cheers of the crowd.

Eight minutes into the game (Turn 3) Black Adam threw a mighty punch at BoneBiter who wrestled him to the ground. Vandal Savage savagely pushed Bones to the ground and ran past him. Joker tries to go for it at high speeds, tripping himself up and sliding into the KO box. After BoneBiter got up he introduced Trigon to his enduring fans on the side-line, their admiration and attempts to get an autograph left Trigon a mess on the floor, he was moved to the KO box to recover.

Twelve minutes in (Turn 4) Vandal savage threw bones to the ground again, this time hard enough to hear bones rattle, Bloody Mary pushed BoneBiter to the ground and ran away, fearing the consequences. Anton Arcane swings at The slow, but at the last second loose hit footing, falling down. The slow is sent off by the ref for attempting to eat the brains of Anton Arcane (It was a nibble... really). The crowd is not too happy with the obviously biased ref.

Middle of the first half (turn 5) Bloody Mary tackled MarrowGnasher with such force that it hit the new player out cold (Welcome to your first game MG).

In the 22nd minute, Bleez stubs out the cigarette he was smoking and casually walks over the line to score the first Touch Down. The fans go wild. This reporter is not sure if it was for the touchdown or the fact that PN are setting up for another painful drive.

Trigon and Joker comes running out of the KO box, their eyes glazed over with whatever "medication" were given to them. MarrowGnasher slinks out of the PN KO box, while Skull comes onto the field from reserves.

The whistle blows and BHC kicks off, the undead starts moving but stops not sure if they can go yet (quick snap). Slash knocks Trigon into next week (MNG), while Skull knocks out Joker. Both BHC players that were drugged up is back in the team box. MarrowGnasher decides to do something unheard of for PN and actually goes to pick up the ball. The crowd is stunned, have nobody told him the ball is irrelevant?

Using the energy from the crowd Vandal savage beats the everliving crap out of Suzie (Kill), the remains of the body is moved to the PN team box, but as it reaches the box it appears that Suzie have already regenerated. In another unfathomable action, Marrowgnasher throws the ball to Sir Bashalot, who catches it and is quite upset that it's not something to hit.

Bleez rams Sir Bashalot into the crowd while he's distracted by the ball, but Bashalot gets carried by the crowd to the reserve box, so he can get back to bashing. They throw the ball back onto the pitch. Closer to the elves who needs balls.

Then the whistle blew for first half completion and the team went for refreshments. (And I'm sure a stern talking to or warning to Marrowgnasher for his unruly behaviour)

The teams come back to the field with PN receiving. Sir Bashalot smashes Relic to the cheers of the crowd. Skull, trying to emulate Sir Bashalot takes a running charge Joker, skeletons not being supposed to run seems obvious as Skull trips and with the sounds of crunching bone ends in a heap on the pitch, he is moved to the KO section of the team box.

BoneBiter picks up the ball but is very disappointing when he bites it and find it not edible. Having lost interest in it he strolls away still holding the not-egg. Joker runs up and punches BoneBiter’s lights out (Badly hurt).

Sam The elf killer, charges into Anton Arcane, biting out a huge chunk of his neck, everyone assumed he was dead, but the apothecary cured him of death with copious amounts of drugs, however, he did look older than he did (Dead / -1 S). Marrowgnasher sort of listened to the coach as he runs to the ball, MarrowGnasher goes past it and just stare at the ball on the ground. not picking it up as instructed.

Joker charges Marrowgnasher pushing him away from the ball, then picks it up himself and gets some distance. BHC (to the annoyance of their fans) have positioned themselves away from PN, and the undead shuffles around trying to get to grips with the elves.

Vandal Savage beats up The Purple baron, but he regenerates in the team box. In the meantime, Bloody Mary runs over the line to score a second touchdown.

BHC kicks off and most of the PN players for some reason gently knock over the lineman on the LOS. Bones come walking up and his bony heel drives deep into the chest of Eclipso who must be carried off due to being badly hurt. The biased ref sends off Bones for some inexplicable reason. The fans will be wanting a word with the ref.

The game took a toned down feel after this as the PN players kept on eyeing this ref. Eventually skull decides to see if the ref will see reason in the closing moments of the game (turn 7) jumps on the downed Shade, breaking his neck. The ref, true to form, sends off Skull. By now it is a known fact that the ref will have to join the RPP (Ref protection program) as the fans will ask some hard questions with pointy objects.

Somewhere Marrowgnasher has scooped up the ball again, but it was deftly stripped out of his hands by Joker who handed it to Vandal Savage. Vandal savage on his part passed the ball to Bleez who was standing in the end zone for the third touchdown.

The last couple of minutes had no serious events as BHC tried to stay out of the clutches of PN, having taken 6 casualties this match.

MVP's were announced for the game and Vandal Savage got the award from BHC for her two Completed passes (One leading to a touchdown) and a touchdown scored.
On the PN side Skull Got MVP as he performed admirably for someone coming in from reserves.

With 4 wins and 1 defeat, the BHC have taken over top spot in the New World Conference. Their total of 25 points puts them 4 clear of the Bloodfire Torments on 21 points (2 wins and 3 draws) in second place. Third place is occupied by the Stuttburg Bisons on 18 points (2 wins and 2 draws).

Da Orcstars have jumped straight to the top of the Aulde Worlde Conference after winning their opening game. As the only team with a win in the conference their 6 points puts them ahead of the UnderHeim Sturm Gratz (2 draws) also on 6 points. Third place in the conference is held by Khorne's Lava Boilers (1 draw and 2 losses) on 5 points.

Zakhan Greatjaw, Rat Ogre for the Albino Rattus team is recognised as the most feared player ever to grace the fields of Da Leeg. With 8 kills (plus 4 serious injuries and 1 badly hurt) from just 12 games, this Blood Bowl hero is truly a player to steer clear off!
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Re: Da Leeg Report Season 18

Postby DaImp » Thu Feb 27, 2020 5:15 pm

issue 4

Your weekly dose of news and rumours from the sidelines of Da Leeg

An anonymous source has revealed to The Spectator that an internal investigation is underway at Blue Balls HQ concerning rumours that money exchanged hands after their 2-0 loss to the Barrow Crows. Sturgeon, head coach of the Balls was seen talking to a shady looking Goblin shortly before the game last night. The pair shook hands before the Golblin shrank back into the shadows. Suspiciously the Balls went on to lose the game against the Barrow Crows 2-0 and the next day The Balls recruited and brand new Minotaur. Blue Balls coaching staff weren't available for comment.


Asgards Dementors vs Da Orcstars: TD 0-2 / Cas 3-3
The Demented Palace, 21000 fans. Staff reporter.

Da Orcstars managed to beat Asgards Dementors 2-0, but suffered brutally for their efforts, with 2 black orcs suffering a damaged back and a smashed knee respectively. One beastman suffered a gouged eye. A chaos beastman pulled off a miracle long bomb pass but a failed push on the endzone, which ended their chance for a consolation touchdown.

Bloodfire Torments vs The Black Hearted Club: TD 1-0 / Cas 3-2
The Chasm of Torments, 18000 fans. Staff reporter.

In a match that was played almost entirely in front of opposition supporters, the Bloodfire Torments proved why they remain a force to be reckoned with in Da Leeg. This was a top of the table clash between the New World Conference leading BHC and the second placed Torments, with victory in this game going a long way to deciding who the NWC champions would be.

The Torments fan club decided to stage a walk-out following the Chaos team's inability to spill any blood in their previous two games. It would seem that the walk-out got the message across though as the Torments put in their bloodiest display of the season so far. Minotaur Torro Goresplatter had a Khorne pleasing match, killing one Dark Elf and badly hurting another. He proved to be a real menace all game and struck fear into the opposition as he roamed unhindered around the park.

The BHC could, and indeed probably should have been leading at half time, but Witch Elf Bleez, was smashed into the stadium walls when she was in touching distance of opening the scoring. This desperate last ditch tackle seemed to suck the soul out of the Dark Elf team, with Bleez getting carted off the pitch to the knocked out box. She was later joined by her sister Witch Elf Bloody Mary, and the two refused to return to the game. With their numbers dwindling and the score at 0-0 come half time things looked bleak for the BHC. And so it proved, with the Torments making full use of their numerical advantage to walk the ball up-field, making sure it was well protected at all times (despite a mild scare as a blitzer dodged into the cage to strip the ball carrier). The BHC were simply unable to put up a challenge for the Torments and were down to just 5 players as the Chaos team sauntered in to score the winning TD.

Got Wood vs The Stuttburg Bisons: TD 0-2 / Cas 4-1
Sheerwood Park, 25000 fans. Staff reporter.

Despite taking a physical beating from the Wood Elves, the Stuttburg Bisons kept their unbeaten run in Da Leeg going with a solid 2-0 win over Got Wood. This keeps them very much in the hunt for the NWC title with 2 games in hand over the Bloodfire Torments and just 9 points behind.

Barrow Crows vs Purple Nurple: TD 2-0 / Cas 3-7
Black Mountain Bowl, 23000 fans. Staff reporter.

A massive 10 casualties were caused when the leagues two Undead teams faced off. It was just 1 short of the league record of 11 casualties - set earlier in the season between Khorne's Lava Boilers and the Underheim Sturm Gratz. With 16 casualties in 5 games Purple Nurple are building a brutal reputation.

Blue Balls of Destiny vs The Barrow Crows: TD 0-2 / Cas 1-5
Abstinence Park, 22000 fans. Staff reporter.

In a game that hangs under a cloud of suspicion, the Barrow Crows notched up their third win of the season. They remain unbeaten for the season so far and while they are keeping a low profile, must be considered as title contenders even at this early stage. The Blue Balls performance is under investigation by the league for claims of throwing the game.

Purple Nurple vs Bloodfire Torments: TD 0-1 / Cas 2-0
Nurple Park, 20000 fans. Staff reporter.

The fans flocked back to watch the Bloodfire Torments, with Minotaur Torro Goresplatter getting his own bunch of dedicated maniacs in the stand. Sadly the renewed attention on the Torments' star Mino seems to have put him off, as he had a game to forget. All the fans cheering his name seemed to have confused the poor beast and at one point he even blitzed one of his own players, trampling a shocked beastman under his hoofs and removing the player from the game.

The first half of the game was awash with trickery and dirty tactics. Just why did the stadium sprinkler system turn on just after the Nurple had kicked the ball to the Torments? Was it truly an accident as was claimed by the groundsman? Or was it a deliberate ploy to upset the Torments? And just how did the ball split in two as it landed on the pitch? Forming two slippery, wet balls for the Chaos team to contend with. What ever the truth behind these mishaps, it resulted in the Torments failing to collect either ball as the Nurple piled on the pressure and bullied their opponents around the pitch. A lone Ghoul lurked around the two balls (which were sitting deep in the Torments half) waiting for an opening to slip in and score. He resisted all attempts to bring him down for several turns until the Torments finally lost their tempers and he was back-handed into a heap on the pitch. But the distraction had been enough to stall the Torments' drive. A late completed pass and dash into the endzone looked to have netted the Torments a half time lead, but the ball promptly vanished in the hands of the player as he crossed into the endzone. No score!

The second half would develop into a mas brawl in the middle of the pitch. Despite the Nurple's best efforts the ball carrier got pulled into the brawl and the ball bounced loose, to be left where it was for several turns as the two teams pounded away at one another. Eventually however, the Torments managed to clear a path to the ball and a lone beastman was able to scoop it up and break free. The Nurple defence was caught flat footed and Silentfoot was able to run in and score what proved to be the winning TD.

Despite the lack of blood spilt by the Torments, the fans still went away happy to have seen a spectacle of violence and mayhem that was a true tribute to Nuffle.

Iragrel Farseer, thrower for the Elf team the Whitepeak Eagles, has a league record of 23 completions thrown in just 14 career games. That's an average of just under 2 completions thrown per game.
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Re: Da Leeg Report Season 18

Postby DaImp » Fri Mar 06, 2020 3:09 pm

issue 5

Your weekly dose of news and rumours from the sidelines of Da Leeg

Coming soon to a Cabalvision orb near you, a story about a former player turned hired thug – the perfect referee for the big game, surely? Cheating dwarfs and chronically violent orcs may disagree, and 'Sulk' may have the fight of his life coming!

"His glory days now behind him, ex Blood Bowl player Gulden von Sulkenhof now makes a living working as hired thug for the Kobassi brothers, a pair of notorious ogres who run a notorious crime empire in Altdorf. But there’s a big match coming up, and the Kobassis have placed a massive bet on the outcome, backing the weaker team to win. To ensure their plan works, they fix things so Sulk referees the game. Faced with cheating dwarfs and chronically violent orcs, Sulk has to use all his ingenuity to make sure the ‘right’ team wins."

Ikyre the rookie linerat on the Sewercurse Squeakers team has failed a drugs test. According to team spokesrat "He tested-tested after game against dwarf-things and was found to be free-free of any warpstone. This not acceptable. Must be reason-reason his neck was snap-snapped in game. Horned Rat surely think he bad-bad and now must die-die."


Sewercurse Squeakers vs Khorne's Lava Boilers: TD 1-2 / Cas 0-4
The Hell Pit, 21000 fans. Staff reporter.

The rookie Skaven team, the Sewercurse Squeakers, welcomed the Chaos Dwarf team Khorne's Lava Boilers to the Sewercurse Hell Pit. Opening up their sewer sanctuary, the Skaven expected to be treated with respect from the visiting team. Unfortunatelky a gang of young dwarves were caught selling thundercaps, a traditional dwarven drug, in the stadium. "It produces a quiet, euphoric, violent high that gets the crowd hungry for violence. Totally safe for recreation use. Promise!" Fortunately no harm was done as the Squeaker's stadium happens to be walled in and the stubby little legs of the Dwarves were just not long enough to allow them to climb over and onto the pitch - also no players would be pushed into the crowd. A win for Skaven ingenuity and proof of the loving nature of Skaven society, a society that cares for all its members.

In the game itself, things didn't go quite as well for the Squeakers. The opening blocks saw linerat Thiskit get his neck broken. The Dwarves were enjoying laying into the soft Skaven bodiesand soon had another linerat removed from the game. Despite this the Boilers nearly messed up their scoring opportunity, with the ball carrier being sacked deep in Squeakers territory. But despite their best efforts, the Squeakers could not get the loose ball free and the weight of numbers eventually allowed the Boilers to score the opening TD. The Squeakers had a chance to score a quick reply but their inexperience let them down and the half ended 1-0 to the Boilers.

The second half started brighter for the Skaven team. A rapid break through the Dwarven defence saw the Skaven swarming into the Boilers' half. Making use of their superior speed the Squeakers easily outpaced the Dwarves and gutter runner Chitittak Blackwhisker would go down in Squeaker history as scoring their first ever TD in Da Leeg. Normal service was renewed after this however, with the Boilers battering their way through the Skaven defence, eventually ending the game with 4 Skaven casualties, 3 of which will be missing the next match. Once more the Dwarves steam rolled over the Skaven and were able to score a second TD, and in the process record their first win in Da Leeg.

Stuttburg Bisons vs Purple Nurple: TD 2-1 / Cas 0-0
Stuttburg Stadium, 21000 fans. Staff reporter.

The Stuttburg Bisons kept up their challenge for the NWC title with a tight win over Purple Nurple. The win puts them just 2 points off of top spot in the conference, in a group of 4 teams separated by just 6 points. Purple Nurple meanwhile find their losing streak just keeps extending, with the Undead team now having lost 7 straight games. It's a good thing these players are ever living as they look like they will need a few more decades to learn how to win!

Blue Balls of Destiny vs Black Hearted Club: TD 0-2 / Cas 0-3
Abstinence Park, 29000 fans. Staff reporter.

Last night the Blue Balls of Destiny continued their season's downward pubic-spiral losing at home against the Black Hearted Club 2-0.

The match started with the Dark Elves, living up to their dark name, instantly removing the Balls's minotaur and a beastman from the field. This start set a trend for the rest of the match where Balls players were put down all over the field, with Black Heart player, Vandal Savage, leading the violent play style causing 3 Balls casualties, one of them fatal!

Near the end of the match upset Balls fans could be heard chanting:
"Play like elves, die like elves!"
"Play like elves, die like elves!"
"Play like elves, die like elves!"
"Play like elves, die like elves!"

Barrow Crows vs Stuttburg Bisons: TD 2-0 / Cas 1-2
Black Mountain Bowl, 32000 fans. Staff reporter.

On a perfectly sunny day, the teams took to the field with the Undead winning the kick off and choosing to receive the ball. No sooner had the ball been kicked into the sky than the Ref was mugged by the baying hordes of fans (32,000 having turned up for the game) and was replaced by a middling and rather timid goblin replacement. Playing the slow game, the Undead players shambled down the pitch, securing the ball in a cage of Mummies and Zombies. There were a few scary moments when the Bison's experienced Blitzers managed to harass the nervous Ghoul ball carrier, but after a lucky punch from Seti the Mummie KOed Vrog the Ogre, and Star Player (and now Barrow Crows' regular) Bryce "the Slice" Cambuel's chainsaw KOed a Bison lineman, the Undead managed to push through the Bison defences and advance the ball up the field to open the scoring. Though the Bison's had managed to injure or KO several Zombies (and a Wight), the Bloodweiser Babes (and some lucky regeneration) managed to bring sufficient players back that Bryce Cambuel could hide out in the Undead locker rooms for the final turns of the half and return in the second half - still unnoticed by the Ref! The Bison's almost managed to equalise the scoring before the end of the first half, even after the Undead players blitzed the Human's offensive set up for a quick one-two touchdown play, and - but for an unfortunate failed block by Charles Vane - they would have succeeded. Morale in the home team dugouts was falling fast.

Though both teams were back to full strength at the start of the second half, the Bison's decision to field their Catchers in their offensive drive meant that, while their team was much faster and more nimble, it was also slightly weaker and less well armoured overall. Bryce's chainsaw took advantage of this fact as he cut through the veteran Catcher, Francis Drake's armour, removing him from play early in the half - a huge blow to the home team. And then things really started to fall apart for the Bisons... The Barrow Crows had even more dirty tricks up their (dirty) sleeves: Jack the Skeleton revealed a hidden blade and somehow a tripping hazard had been snuck on to the pitch, tripping over the Bison Thrower, though he quickly recollected the ball. But the Bisons were soon just too many players down, and when Edward England tripped trying to move the ball across the field to the waiting Blitzer, the ball spilled loose and was pounced upon by the Crow's veteran Ghoul.

The Barrow Crows managed to put a second one past the Stuttburg Bisons in the dying minutes of the second half and it was all that the Humans could do - after yet another blitz by the Undead - but try once again (unsuccessfully) to pummel star player Bryce Cambuel into the ground. How was he still on the pitch?! Where was the Ref!

No player has ever intercepted a pass more than once in Da Leeg? Sure, many players have pulled off an interception (22 of them according to our Gnome statistician) but none of them have been able to repeat the trick.
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Re: Da Leeg Report Season 18

Postby DaImp » Thu Mar 12, 2020 9:58 am

issue 6

Your weekly dose of news and rumours from the sidelines of Da Leeg

So claims Cerdic the Underworld Goblin Unequal Rights Spokes-Goblin from the Underheim Sturm Gratz team. In an interview with this paper just before their first cross-conference game of the season agains the Barrow Crows, he claimed that "Skaven are bullies and racist, they get paid more than Goblins and look at what they did to Eadwulf! He took a nasty hit in practice and day still wants him to play against those undead things"

Following this interview the Sturm Gratz Goblins have gone on strike. According to Cerdic "We wantz equal pay! We goes alway up mountain to play the boilers, Snorri the Troll an da rest of dem (Skaven) spend most of da game in da dugout wif da nurses, all da while we has to carry da team."

After an inquiry into the thermal geysers that launched players into the air (Trolls, Skaven, Goblins and a Zombie) after the match between Gratz and the Crows, the Underheim Sturm Gratz have announced that there is now an opening for a new grounds Goblin. (Skaven need not apply)


Khorne's Lava Boilers vs Underheim Sturm Gratz: TD 2-0 / Cas 1-0
Khorne Canyon, 29000 fans. Staff reporter.

Got Wood vs Barrow Crows: TD 1-1 / Cas 0-4
Wood Park, 23000 fans. Staff reporter.

The Barrow Crows' away tour took them to the fabled Woodadome of Got Wood Za, with its overgrown stands, close trees and famous lush, soft, pillow-like turf. With the Goblin Gambling Guild sponsoring the match, both teams' coaches were offered to wager 50,000gp on whether their team would win. After being explained the fine print: that a draw would result in the money being lost, the Wood Elf Coach WolfKhan wisely refused to take the bet but Necromancer Gabriel, more used to making dark deals for high stakes, quickly shook on it and hurried into the dugout to give his team a pep talk. The Crows' were so confident of their chances that they arranged specially to televise the match live on Cabalvision. In addition, fans of violence everywhere's favourite star player, Bryce "The Slice" Cambuel, joined the Crows once again for the match which was promising to be a real humdinger. As a further boon to the Undead, though the Got Wood fans outnumbered theirs almost two to one, a strong contingent of loyal Crows fans known as the DeadHeadz surrounded the pitch to ensure that any Barrow Crows' players that might be pushed into the crowd would not come to any harm.

The Wood Elves won the toss and chose to receive with trusty Catcher Tralko quickly securing the ball behind the elven defensive line. But then, what's this? Bryce "The Slice", who had been skulking in the Crow's dugout, had somehow snuck his way onto the field! The Crows' were fielding 12 players and the ref didn't noticed. Just then, Othor the Wight's hopeless attempted block against War Dancer Akiath [rerolled pushes into double skulls] left the dangerous player partially open, just enough for him to punch his way free and sprint to the End Zone. Bryce could only watch in dismay as Tralko skipped through the Undead defense and threw a perfect pass to Akiath waiting in the End Zone. 1-0 to the Woodies.

Necromancer Gabriel got in a heated argument with the ref who eventually backed down and somehow Bryce (and his chainsaw) were not sent immediately to the dungeon but was allowed to take to the field, though with the regulation 11 players allowed this time. The Elves' kicked the ball and although it collided with a low-flying goblin Doom Diver, it landed in open space and the elves immediately blitzed forward, pressuring the Undead team and ruining their offensive gambit. Unfortunately, Woody the Treeman decided he rather liked this patch of sun he happened to be standing in (in the very centre of the pitch) and took root. The Undead secured the ball and slowly shambled up the pitch, taking the time to punch, smash, kick, headbutt, foul, hack with chainsaw, and generally hurt the Woodies as much as possible but either the pressure of the big wager on the game, the live cameras, the oppressive jungle gnats or the lush turf meant that the Crows' hardly made much of a dent on the Elves. The Undead scored an equalised at the end of the first half but hardly any of Got Wood Za had suffered so much as a muddy uniform.

The second half proceeded in the same way (though the ref had finally grown a pair and sent Bryce to the dungeon), with the Crows' securing the ball and shambling up the pitch while trying to kill every elf they could get their hands on. Treeman Woody got into a seismic tussle with Mummy Gibdo, though neither did much damage to the other. The Crows' assaults finally managed to cause a few injuries, and a few of the Wood Elves hurt themselves tripping, so there were fewer and fewer elves on the pitch, allowing the Undead to move the ball up the field. Despite the player advantage (and all the other advantages they had accumulated), the Undead decided to stall and the beefy Wight, Khamul held onto the ball tightly, standing right by the End Zone deep in Got Wood Za's corner of the pitch, surrounded by teammates. The defence was impregnable. The ball was safe.

Or so Khamul thought. The Wood's star War Dancer, Trokiron, in a slavering frenzy, leapt over the heads of the Undead defence and took on the much larger Wight. Despite being surrounded by Zombies and Ghouls, Trokiron somehow managed to land a blow and knocked Khamul to the ground [leap into uphill frenzy block double push into double pow with no reroll!]. The ball spilled free, fumbled from Zombie to prone elf and eventually into the crowd. The fans then began throwing the ball amongst themselves! First out over the Got Wood Za' endzone, then across the pitch and out into the crowd yet again at the whole other side of play, and then some talented (elven) thrower in the crowd made a perfect long bomb, rocketing the ball way down the field towards the Barrow Crows' End Zone, dashing their hopes of a victory and causing their Necromancer to cry softly into his tankard of Wood Elven feywine. With their speed, the Got Wood Za elves could just about have recovered the ball and scored the winning touch down, but it was not to be. Their players, battered and exhausted, settled on the draw, wisely predicted by their coach.

Barrow Crows vs Underheim Sturm Gratz: TD 1-0 / Cas 6-1
Black Mountain Bowl, 25000 fans. Staff reporter.

The UnderHeim Sturm Gratz had an unlucky start to their match against the visiting Barrow Crows as outspoken goblin Cerdic's recent remarks in the latest issue of Spike! magazine accusing his fellow skaven teammates of being "bullies and racists" caused an uproar amongst the team's vocal skaven fanbase. Those fans arrived at the game with placards (and plague censors) chanting that Cerdic not be allowed to play (#KillKillCerdicUglyGobboRunt).

They were not impressed when he walked onto the pitch in the second half - though by that point the Gratz were down several players and the coach had no option but to put him in. Cerdic's comments came in response to the unfortunate head injury suffered by fellow goblin player, Eadwulf, which he sustained from fouling practice with Gasto. Despite his condition (and clear brain injury), Eadwulf too was forced to take to the field, though he was shortly injured further by an aggressive block from Wight Khamul. Even with Kreek, the psychotic star player ball-(or really bell)-and-chain wielding skaven, joining the team, he soon swung his way into trouble and was quickly despatched by the murderous Crows. Seven more casualties were to follow before the final whistle.

The thermal geysers under the stone pitch of the Underheim's Undercity Sewers stadium began playing up at the start of the match. This didn't help matters for the Gratz as their players (as well as a few Undead ones) were occasionally blown into the air by geysers escaping from the erupting pitch! Despite all this, the Gratz were tantalisingly close to scoring an equalising Touch Down at the end of the first half but the unfortunate skaven linerat fumbled the catch in the end zone. Again, right at the close of play, a lucky blitz by a goblin brought down the the Ghoulish ball carrier, spilling the ball into the crowd who threw it towards the Undead End Zone. A few lucky dodges would have secured the tie for the Underworld Denizens but it was not to be as Zombie Geek punched the unlucky goblin off the ball. In the end: One nil to the Crows.

Black Hearted Club vs Stuttburg Bisons: TD 2-0 / Cas 2-0
The Cauldron, 29000 fans. Staff reporter.

The Black Hearted Club moved to the top of the New World Conference with a win over the Stuttburg Bisons on Wednesday. Despite suffering 2 losses so far in the season, their 6 wins puts them 2 points clear of the Barrow Crows in second place. The Crows have a game in hand however and need just a draw to take over top spot.

Khorne's Lava Boilers vs Got Wood: TD 2-2 / Cas 3-0
Khorne Canyon, 27000 fans. Staff reporter.

With a draw against cross-conference rivals Got Wood, Khorne's Lava Boilers moved to the top of the Aulde World Conference. This drops Da Orcstars, who didn't play this week down to second place in the conference.

The largest crowd to attend a Da Leeg game was the Blood Bowl XVI Final. 68 000 fans watched the Hel Fenn Coven win the Blood Bowl XVI on a casualty tie breaker (4 cas to 1) after the final against the Blackspine Manticores ended 2-2 in normal time and 3-3 after extra time.
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